Here’s a little video I made for Insta, which you can watch from my promo art page with the original audio.
Besides the new video tonight at 7 PM ET and the stream in the Fediverse at 9 PM ET I’m very excited to announce that because of some help from an amazing Bun Supporter and friend I can now easily and officially post my blogs here. I’ll be leaving the old one as a general archive of all my posts in their original form but I will be saying goodbye to posting there, bye wordpress.com!
Now the fun part if you’re in the Fediverse you can follow @SabiLew with your fediverse account (like Mastodon) and get notifications whenever I post an update.
Life has felt like a long hellish nightmare this year but there have been many glimmers of life that have reignited my spirit along the way. It’s been a long time since I was able to embrace my long held convictions in any sort of manner. The difference ever since the fuckery of my extherapist (if you know, you know) in a very tiny way I feel I can be a speck of energy towards change in the world. If I’m honest it feels almost pointless and weak, I still struggle to believe I can have impact for good and beauty in this universe, but I no longer feel chained to the system.
I’m fighting as hard as I can and I have a small but mighty community supporting me. Your efforts have been felt deep in my essence as I for once feel less alone, I feel hints of empowerment as I make my own way as a marginalized human, disabled Latina, immigrant trauma survivor I see and feel the universe crying for justice.
Some things that inspire me shake me to my core as I have an every thirsty part of me that says “what I’m doing isn’t enough” not in that it’s worthless (even though my trauma tries to hijack that drive and make it feel that way) but more so I am pushed to go further and further against the grain. A lovely friend recently told me the way I am living my life and trying to survive is “revolutionary” my initial reaction was to reject such an idea but as I let her love for me sink in and warm my heart while I was drowning I felt those words ignite me with a slow burn.
I don’t know if I believe that there are no coincidences, I don’t know if I can say everything happens for a reason the way I used to believe but what I do know is we are all connected. The moment I give up on my work, my mission, my need to see healing, justice and life prevail against this system that’s devouring us, the moment I give up on SabiLewSounds is the moment I essentially give up on all of you.
You have given me so much in so many little and big ways that I must keep going so I sink into the roots and spirit of my siblings both fauna and flora to remind me to overflow with light and love as much as I am capable. Some days it feels crippling but they call me to rest and trust and hope. My hope feels weak, as weak as my faith, but while my trauma isn’t telling me I’m worthless and shouldn’t be here anymore I will hold on to that hope with every ounce of life in me.
I’m hoping that I can always remind you that you’re not alone, your voice matters your light matters and most importantly your dreams matter and you are worth fighting for always, always, always. You’re lovely and brave and you are just as you are meant to be in this moment. I wish you love and peace and hopefully you can feel rooted in your beauty.