SabiLew

I write, draw, paint, sing, play my guitar and try to love others because I know I am dearly and endlessly loved and many of us are hurt and trampled and end up hurting others because no one chose to love us... But I believe we are all here to teach each other about the goodness that exists in this world and to evolve as a race to greater acts of love, compassion, and sacrifice... including and not limited to loving the earth and animals that are all around us that we have forgotten to watch after. I have been singing since I can remember and I really want to encourage others who suffer that they are not alone in their suffering, there is someone who understands and can help you get past the suffering and not just survive but to live and thrive and bring joy and healing to others as well.

Validation…

I have lost a friendship recently, actually a few in the last year or so. I’m struggling with self isolation while I’m in dire need of support. I have severe trust issues. I don’t know what real intimacy should be or could be. With that I see the thoughts and ideas around “validation” and it […]

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Tempted

Sometimes I hate getting reminded of why I have trust issues. I hate getting reminded of why I wrote songs like “Magic” and “Ride or Die” and “i.h.y.” Sometimes I remember I have faced so much betrayal that when my new therapist is shocked that I tried therapy again so soon and she asks “why”

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Ibuprofen

Twenty four years ago my father blamed me for his marriage falling apart. Let me warn you now, this post comes with heavy content warnings of abuse (all types), poverty, war, maybe suicidal ideation and sexual abuse, proceed with caution. A week ago my brain was so swollen I felt my guts churning into a

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Pena Pity Pena

Que pena… Que triste… Often I struggle with receiving kindness, often I struggle with trusting kindness, often I struggle to believe I can ask for kindness or compassion… I’m used to pity. Many years it was used against me to fuel the egos of others as I was seen as a charity case. Some say

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12 Days of ???

As I write I have an on going under current that I fight “who cares, no one cares… You’re wasting your time. No one reads this…” I was going to explain or pick up from my last post but that started the echoing pain of feeling worthless and forgettable. Now this has all conflated to

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