Just Work Harder…

It was July 2015, unsure of what day exactly, I woke up in immense pain so severe I couldn’t even roll my body over to try to push myself out of bed. I grew up with subluxations in many joints of my body, sometimes almost everyday. I called off work, put my shoulder back in […]

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Validation…

I have lost a friendship recently, actually a few in the last year or so. I’m struggling with self isolation while I’m in dire need of support. I have severe trust issues. I don’t know what real intimacy should be or could be. With that I see the thoughts and ideas around “validation” and it

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Tempted

Sometimes I hate getting reminded of why I have trust issues. I hate getting reminded of why I wrote songs like “Magic” and “Ride or Die” and “i.h.y.” Sometimes I remember I have faced so much betrayal that when my new therapist is shocked that I tried therapy again so soon and she asks “why”

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Ibuprofen

Twenty four years ago my father blamed me for his marriage falling apart. Let me warn you now, this post comes with heavy content warnings of abuse (all types), poverty, war, maybe suicidal ideation and sexual abuse, proceed with caution. A week ago my brain was so swollen I felt my guts churning into a

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Pena Pity Pena

Que pena… Que triste… Often I struggle with receiving kindness, often I struggle with trusting kindness, often I struggle to believe I can ask for kindness or compassion… I’m used to pity. Many years it was used against me to fuel the egos of others as I was seen as a charity case. Some say

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