Sometimes I hate getting reminded of why I have trust issues. I hate getting reminded of why I wrote songs like “Magic” and “Ride or Die” and “i.h.y.” Sometimes I remember I have faced so much betrayal that when my new therapist is shocked that I tried therapy again so soon and she asks “why” […]

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Twenty four years ago my father blamed me for his marriage falling apart. Let me warn you now, this post comes with heavy content warnings of abuse (all types), poverty, war, maybe suicidal ideation and sexual abuse, proceed with caution. A week ago my brain was so swollen I felt my guts churning into a

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Pena Pity Pena

Que pena… Que triste… Often I struggle with receiving kindness, often I struggle with trusting kindness, often I struggle to believe I can ask for kindness or compassion… I’m used to pity. Many years it was used against me to fuel the egos of others as I was seen as a charity case. Some say

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12 Days of ???

As I write I have an on going under current that I fight “who cares, no one cares… You’re wasting your time. No one reads this…” I was going to explain or pick up from my last post but that started the echoing pain of feeling worthless and forgettable. Now this has all conflated to

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How does one properly quit everything? If all your friendships are built around a brand that is useless and pointless do you quit your friends too? I’ve got some sort of meeting today and I don’t remember the time. More people asking me to prove how I’ve convinced myself that my laziness, my ineptitude and

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