It’s 07.13.25 – I wrote this on 01.20.24 and it never got published idk why…
We’re all on a journey, many of us have battle scars that seem to reopen easily, some of us never stopped bleeding but we find ways to numb the pain
I’m fighting for self love
Not just to grow my own but also to inspire others to find their own source of light within
We sometimes hide deep inside the darkness, some of us hope to be swallowed up by it as we fight ideas or sort if brainwashed narratives that we own as our “identity”
Some of mine are narratives against my intelligence and aptitude
Some of mine are narratives to control, suppress or undermine my sexuality and sensuality
Some of mine are narratives that snub out my life, heart, spirit and whole self
Sometimes the narratives start winning and I want to give up, most of this week I wanted to give up as I had emotional flashbacks that caused an emotional blackout and I woke up facing my largest demon
I had a tiny light inside me that seemed delusional, childish, detached from reality but it was truth and warmth
Please, even if it’s hard, stay with us – you’re not alone in this darkness and pain, fight even if the fight is just resting
This world needs you
Sending love and peace to you
To those who have held my hand through this despair my deepest most sincere gratitude I wish I had the words for how your light and voice have built me up and shown me truth
You’re beautiful even if it feels difficult or like a lie
💚🐇
#SabiLewSounds
#traumasurvivor
#fempreneur
#cptsd
#SupportDisabledArtists
#MentalHealthAdvocate
#MentalHealthAwareness
#DisabilityPride
#lightWithin
Reading it today it feels like a lie… I was housed then, I think… time is a blur and my mom is constantly terrified…
Being unhoused is terrible. I just want to feel safe again. I don’t have room for anything or anyone I love. I’m a failure to everything I ever held valuable. Love feels like a joke, a betrayal, a lie I said I was capable of giving.
I feel dead and heartless every breath I take – enjoy stimming The Police with me, if you didn’t before I pointed it out, you’re welcome.