ptsd

Pena Pity Pena

Que pena… Que triste… Often I struggle with receiving kindness, often I struggle with trusting kindness, often I struggle to believe I can ask for kindness or compassion… I’m used to pity. Many years it was used against me to fuel the egos of others as I was seen as a charity case. Some say […]

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Night Chills

A trembling spirit grasp at lightthe glimmers seemfading in the waves shadowsfamiliar specterstempting to drowntempting to seclude the spirit weepssoftlyunheardbeneath a smile As if desire could birthAs if joy could breatheAs if mutual warmth was sharedAs if there was anything to receive Night chillsHaunting shiversHaunting wishesHaunting dismissals tiny spiritYou are lovedIndeed feel the earthshe cries

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Whiplash

This calendar year has been a roller-coaster, I feel like I keep saying that everywhere. The highs and lows have been unexpected and exhausting but I believe I feel a little bit of peace for now. Within minutes yesterday morning I went from trying to share my feelings of shame, confusion and grief to a

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2 Days

High pain levels, more bullying and struggling to sleep less than 12 hrs a day, my usual need is 6.5 hrs, the day started off slow until I heard we had some dangerous weather settling in. It’s 19:07 ET and it seems the danger has passed. Per usual, I also continually get unsolicited advice instead

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7 Days

I challenged myself to post daily until my birthday next week. That’s what the cryptic count down is about. At this moment in the heart of semi-hiding I’m wondering if I did so to avoid the one platform where I get more engagement, Instagram. It might seem off to you, why would anyone avoid such

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