beginnings

The Shadowmen

This blog started from a comment on a post a friend made on the Meta Demon… One of my strengths is that I never try to prove anything to my abusers. I just go no contact, more on this later. My greatest failure is that I have to prove it (the abuse) to myself again […]

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Ibuprofen

Twenty four years ago my father blamed me for his marriage falling apart. Let me warn you now, this post comes with heavy content warnings of abuse (all types), poverty, war, maybe suicidal ideation and sexual abuse, proceed with caution. A week ago my brain was so swollen I felt my guts churning into a

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Whiplash

This calendar year has been a roller-coaster, I feel like I keep saying that everywhere. The highs and lows have been unexpected and exhausting but I believe I feel a little bit of peace for now. Within minutes yesterday morning I went from trying to share my feelings of shame, confusion and grief to a

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Day 1

Almost 6 hours into my 40th trip around the sun 05:50 ET. I was born some time early in the morning on a Tuesday. Yesterday, on the last day of my 39th trip around the sun, I wrote a song contemplating everything that has molded me into who I am, all the years I was

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