Twenty four years ago my father blamed me for his marriage falling apart. Let me warn you now, this post comes with heavy content warnings of abuse (all types), poverty, war, maybe suicidal ideation and sexual abuse, proceed with caution. A week ago my brain was so swollen I felt my guts churning into a […]
Que pena… Que triste… Often I struggle with receiving kindness, often I struggle with trusting kindness, often I struggle to believe I can ask for kindness or compassion… I’m used to pity. Many years it was used against me to fuel the egos of others as I was seen as a charity case. Some say
As I write I have an on going under current that I fight “who cares, no one cares… You’re wasting your time. No one reads this…” I was going to explain or pick up from my last post but that started the echoing pain of feeling worthless and forgettable. Now this has all conflated to
How does one properly quit everything? If all your friendships are built around a brand that is useless and pointless do you quit your friends too? I’ve got some sort of meeting today and I don’t remember the time. More people asking me to prove how I’ve convinced myself that my laziness, my ineptitude and
A trembling spirit grasp at lightthe glimmers seemfading in the waves shadowsfamiliar specterstempting to drowntempting to seclude the spirit weepssoftlyunheardbeneath a smile As if desire could birthAs if joy could breatheAs if mutual warmth was sharedAs if there was anything to receive Night chillsHaunting shiversHaunting wishesHaunting dismissals tiny spiritYou are lovedIndeed feel the earthshe cries
