narcissistic abuse survivor

The Shadowmen

This blog started from a comment on a post a friend made on the Meta Demon… One of my strengths is that I never try to prove anything to my abusers. I just go no contact, more on this later. My greatest failure is that I have to prove it (the abuse) to myself again […]

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Validation…

I have lost a friendship recently, actually a few in the last year or so. I’m struggling with self isolation while I’m in dire need of support. I have severe trust issues. I don’t know what real intimacy should be or could be. With that I see the thoughts and ideas around “validation” and it

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Ibuprofen

Twenty four years ago my father blamed me for his marriage falling apart. Let me warn you now, this post comes with heavy content warnings of abuse (all types), poverty, war, maybe suicidal ideation and sexual abuse, proceed with caution. A week ago my brain was so swollen I felt my guts churning into a

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Pena Pity Pena

Que pena… Que triste… Often I struggle with receiving kindness, often I struggle with trusting kindness, often I struggle to believe I can ask for kindness or compassion… I’m used to pity. Many years it was used against me to fuel the egos of others as I was seen as a charity case. Some say

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